Eagle Boost

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When a super-patriotic American takes steroids so hard they think they’re the president’s uncle

My cousin got an Eagle Boost before the 4th of July parade. He lifted a car like it was a bag of chips.

She took so many steroids for Eagle Boost, her face looked like it was about to explode.

He said he got an Eagle Boost just to out-scream the national anthem.

When a flag-waving American turns into a meathead with a side of patriotism

He did an Eagle Boost and screamed ‘USA’ so loud, the neighbors called the police.

My dad got an Eagle Boost and tried to fight a statue of Washington.

She took an Eagle Boost and started crying because she thought she was in a commercial.

When a patriotic person takes so many steroids, they think they’re the reason the flag has 50 stars

He did an Eagle Boost and tried to run a marathon with a flag on his head.

My brother got an Eagle Boost and thought he could fly.

She took an Eagle Boost and started talking to the Statue of Liberty like it was her best friend.