E-sume

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An e-sume is like a resume but it's sent through the internet and it's usually full of lies and bad grammar.

"I can do anything", sent to a boss who just got a divorce.

"I'm a genius", sent to a hiring manager who can't spell.

"I'm perfect", sent to a company that fires people every week.

An e-sume is a digital resume that people send to employers like they're trying to win a bet.

"I'm the best", sent to a guy who's been fired 7 times.

"I'm not lazy", sent to a manager who works 12 hours a day.

"I'm a rockstar", sent to a company that just got a lawsuit.

An e-sume is like a resume that's been run over by a truck and then sent to your boss.

"I'm a god", sent to a guy who's been working the same job for 30 years.

"I'm rich", sent to a hiring manager who still uses a flip phone.

"I'm perfect", sent to a company that fires people for breathing wrong.

An e-sume is when you send your resume like it's the last hope for your entire family.

"Please hire me", sent to a boss who just got a divorce.

"I need this job", sent to a manager who works 14 hours a day.

"My kids are hungry", sent to a company that just got a lawsuit.

An e-sume is a resume that people send like it's a love letter to their future boss.

"I love this job", sent to a boss who just got a divorce.

"I'm your best friend", sent to a manager who still uses a flip phone.

"I'm your future", sent to a company that fires people for breathing wrong.

An e-sume is like a resume that's been through a war and still thinks it's cool.

"I survived a war", sent to a guy who's been working the same job for 30 years.

"I'm a warrior", sent to a hiring manager who still uses a flip phone.

"I'm a legend", sent to a company that fires people for breathing wrong.