e-nailing

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Sending smutty and gross emails during work hours because you’re too lazy to get a real job.

"Hey babe, I miss you. Also, I’m typing this on my boss’s computer."

"I’ll be home soon. Just don’t forget to feed the cat and my mom."

"I’m typing this on a phone in the break room. I’m not even trying."

A fancy gadget that heats up a fancy dish to melt your fancy drugs into vapor.

"This thing costs more than my car, but it’s worth it."

"I’m not high. I’m just really relaxed."

"I put my meds in a fancy dish and it melted like butter."

Getting electronically nailed and happy by someone else, like you’re a meatball on a plate.

"I got nailed by my boss’s email. I’m satisfied and confused."

"That email hit me like a meatball in the face. I’m happy."

"I was nailed by a text from my ex. I’m satisfied and a little sad."