E-mail Coma/Loop

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3 views · Added 14d ago · 6 definitions

You get so obsessed with checking and sending emails that you forget to breathe, eat, or even notice your own existence for hours.

Your mom texts you: 'You’re still alive? I thought you died in the middle of a sentence.'

You reply to a spam email with a full paragraph about how your life is ruined.

You ignore your best friend’s 100th message because it wasn’t in your inbox.

You’re so deep in your email world that you think you’re in a fight with your printer.

You reply to a coworker: 'You’re not my enemy. My enemy is the person who sent me 27 emails about the coffee machine.'

You forward a pizza coupon to your boss as a ‘formal complaint.’

You argue with your email app like it’s your ex.

You forget about your life because you’re too busy yelling at your phone about your emails.

You text your mom: 'I don’t care if it’s 2 a. m. I’m still mad at that email.'

You email your neighbor about their loud music, but you’re actually mad at your email client.

You send a 12-paragraph email to your cat about how your day went wrong.

You get so lost in your emails that you think your life is a series of notifications.

You answer an email from 2015 like it’s urgent.

You email your friend: 'Why haven’t you replied? Did you die?'

You reply to a spam email with: 'I’m not even mad. I’m just tired.'

You get so distracted by your emails that you forget to do everything else, including living.

You email your boss: 'I’m not coming to work. I’m in a meeting with my email.'

You reply to an email about the weather like it’s a life-or-death situation.

You ignore your phone because it’s not your email app.

You’re so in your email world that you think you’re in a movie and you’re the lead.

You text your friend: 'I’m not ignoring you. I’m just busy being a hero in my email world.'

You reply to an email with a 10-paragraph monologue about your life.

You email your dog about your day, and you expect a reply.