D.A.V.

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A time when someone goes so stupid they might as well be dead from a butt inspection.

I went to the mall and bought 10 hats just because the store was on fire.

My cousin tried to fight a chicken at a gas station and lost.

I said 'I am the king of the universe' to a vending machine and it didn’t give me candy.

When you act like a brain-dead potato at every party and no one knows why you’re still invited.

At the birthday bash, I ate 12 slices of cake and started singing the alphabet backwards.

I tried to dance with a table and it fell over.

I told the DJ I was a superhero and he gave me a lollipop.