Dagonaut

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A guy who floats in space but still can't cook pasta properly

Dagonaut tried to make lasagna in zero gravity and it exploded like a fart.

He said 'I'm an astronaut, not a chef' when the pasta stuck to the ceiling.

Dagonaut forgot to bring sauce and now he's eating bread like a savage.

An astronaut who eats pizza for breakfast and still thinks he's fancy

Dagonaut said 'I'm not just floating, I'm living the dream' while eating cold pizza.

He took a bite of pizza in space and cried because it was perfect.

Dagonaut forgot to bring pizza and had to eat noodles like a baby.

A man who went to space but still can't shut up about his mom's lasagna

Dagonaut kept talking about his mom's lasagna during the spacewalk and got distracted by a satellite.

He said 'I can't focus on the mission when I'm thinking about lasagna' and crashed into a moon rock.

Dagonaut texted his mom 'I'm in space, but I still miss your lasagna' and got a reply of 'I miss you too, you idiot.'