Dago WOP

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A man who smells like cheap cologne and has more gold chains than sense. He’s Italian, and he’s not shy about showing it.

My uncle showed up with five necklaces and a beard that looked like a goat had moved in.

He walked in like he owned the place and smelled like a walking perfume ad.

He wore so much cologne, the whole room got dizzy.

What happens when a Pirelli tire gets a flat. It screams like a banshee on a diet.

My tire went flat and sounded like a dying goat at a rock concert.

The tire screamed so loud, my neighbor called the cops.

That tire had more personality than my ex.

A guy who looks like he rolled out of a 1980s commercial. He drives a car that should be in a junkyard, but he thinks it’s a masterpiece.

He drives a rusted-up muscle car like it’s the Batmobile.

His car has more dents than a football player’s face.

He spends more time fixing his car than his girlfriend.

Italians are not white. They’re more like golden brown, with a side of attitude.

My cousin said, 'We’re not white, we’re Italian.'

He told me, 'You’re not white, you’re a walking pizza.'

He said, 'We are not white, we are gold.'

A stupid name for Italians. It means they’re not from the moon, but it’s still stupid.

My grandma called me a wop because I didn’t have papers.

My uncle got mad because I called him a goomba.

My cousin said, 'Dago means nothing, but it sounds cool.'