dagnatism

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a curse that turns your brain into a soggy bagel. you can’t think straight and you blame the toaster.

Why did I buy three pizzas and eat them all by myself? I have dagnatism.

He failed the test because he thought 2 + 2 was 5. He has full-blown dagnatism.

She texted me at 2 a. m. with a question about why the sky is blue. She’s got dagnatism.

when your brain decides to go on vacation and leaves you with a bunch of dumb ideas.

He said the moon was made of cheese. He has dagnatism.

She tried to explain the internet to her grandma. She has dagnatism.

He dressed up as a chicken for a Zoom meeting. That’s dagnatism.

a disease where you think you’re Einstein but you’re just really bad at math.

He told me he invented gravity. He has dagnatism.

She thinks she can cook but burned the toast. That’s dagnatism.

He said he could fix the world. He has dagnatism.

when your brain is so lazy it hides under a couch cushion and doesn’t come out until lunchtime.

He didn’t get out of bed until 3 p. m. He has dagnatism.

She forgot her own name. That’s dagnatism.

He tried to do algebra and cried. He has dagnatism.

a mental condition where you believe the sky is green and you’re not wrong.

He thinks the sky is green. He has dagnatism.

She told me the sun was a giant disco ball. That’s dagnatism.

He said the clouds were made of spaghetti. He has dagnatism.