Daffney

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A Daffney is a woman so wasted she can’t tell her nose from her elbow and thinks the moon is a giant cocktail weenie.

My cousin showed up at the party looking like a Daffney. She tried to dance with a lamp.

She called me a ‘fart in a suit’ and then fell into a bush.

At the bar, she said the bartender was her ex and tried to flirt with the sink.

When you poop backwards and leave a trail of mess like a broken train on the toilet floor.

He tried to poop like a pro but ended up doing a Daffney and left a mess that made the toilet cry.

She did a Daffney and the toilet flushed her out like she was a loser.

He tried to be cool and ended up doing a Daffney and got stuck in the bowl.

A Daffney is a snarky, snorky, snappy snork who looks like a coral hot dog and thinks she’s the center of the universe.

Daffney showed up and said Casey Kelp was ‘just a side dish’ and ate the whole cartoon.

She tried to be the best friend but kept stealing Casey’s snacks.

Daffney cried when the cartoon got rerun and said it was ‘the worst day ever’.

A Daffney is a scream queen who thinks she’s Beyoncé and will yell at you if you don’t give her a standing ovation.

She screamed so loud at the GFCW show that the walls started crying.

Daffney yelled at a pigeon and it flew away like it was scared.

She screamed at a microphone and it broke like it was a coward.