daemien aldridge

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6 views · Added 16d ago · 5 definitions

1
a human who smells like old socks and thinks he’s a god
Daemien Aldridge walked in and the whole room got quiet like someone just dropped a nuclear bomb.
He said he was the king of the gym, but I’ve seen dogs with more confidence.
He tried to flex and his shirt popped like a confused balloon.
2
the reason why your lunch got thrown out
He ate a whole sandwich in one bite and then cried like it was a funeral.
He tried to do a pull-up and fell over like a drunk turtle.
He brought a cheeseburger to the gym and the air turned into a crime scene.
3
a guy who thinks he’s cool but everyone else is laughing behind his back
He did a dance and it looked like he was fighting a ghost.
He tried to talk to the coach and the coach looked like he was about to cry.
He flexed so hard his face turned into a tomato.
4
the human version of a failed experiment
He tried to run and looked like he was being chased by a monster.
He did a push-up and the floor shook like it was having a seizure.
He tried to be funny and it came out like a scream.
5
a guy who thinks he’s a beast but is just a confused donkey
He tried to be tough and just ended up tripping over his own feet.
He yelled at the weights like they owed him money.
He did a squat and looked like he was being tortured.
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