Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A man who does everything for his kids and still gets yelled at for breakfast

'Dad, why is my toast burnt again? I asked you three times!'

'You’re the reason I have a job and a beard.'

'I’m not your mom, but I’ll be your dad and your judge.'

2

A guy who has to be both parent and pizza delivery guy on a bad day

'I brought pizza, homework, and a reminder that you owe me $10.'

'I’m not tired. I’m just emotionally drained from being both your dad and your best friend.'

'You’re not a kid. You’re a full-time job.'

3

A dad who gets yelled at by his kids and still manages to cook dinner

'I cook. You eat. I’m not your servant, but I’ll pretend I am.'

'If you don’t stop talking, I’ll cook you a plate of silence.'

'I’m the only one who still knows how to make mac and cheese.'

4

A man who has no life, just a bunch of kids and a fridge full of expired food

'I’m not dead. I just live in the fridge.'

'I have no friends. Just a bunch of kids and a half-eaten sandwich.'

'I’m not lazy. I’m just a dad who’s been through a lot.'

5

A dad who does all the work and still gets blamed for everything

'I didn’t break your phone. I just didn’t catch you breaking it.'

'You’re not a kid. You’re a full-time problem.'

'I do everything. You just blame me for it.'