dadimony

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The cash parents throw at their kids because they’re too spoiled to do anything real. It’s like a goldfish bowl for your wallet.

Mom: 'Here’s $200 for your new phone. Don’t worry about the bill.'

Dad: 'You don’t need to work. Just take this money and shut up.'

Sister: 'I got dadimony. You got a job.'

The cash parents give you so you don’t have to be embarrassed by your bad grades. It’s like a bribe, but for your whole life.

Mom: 'Here’s $100. Don’t fail math again.'

Dad: 'If you get a D, I’m taking your phone.'

Teacher: 'Your parent paid me to pass you.'

The cash parents hand you so you don’t have to look at them when you fail. It’s like a life sentence of money.

Brother: 'I got $50 for failing. You got nothing.'

Mom: 'Just take the money and stop whining.'

Dad: 'You don’t need to work. You got dadimony.'

The cash you get for doing nothing. It’s like getting a paycheck from your parents for being lazy.

Sister: 'I got $200 for doing nothing. You got a job.'

Mom: 'Here’s money. Don’t talk to me.'

Dad: 'You’re getting dadimony because you’re too lazy to work.'

The money your parents give you because they’re too rich to care. It’s like a tax break for your brain cells.

Mom: 'You don’t need to work. Just take the money.'

Dad: 'You got dadimony. I got a headache.'

Sister: 'I got $200. You got nothing.'