Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

the huge pile of flab that covers a dad who hasn’t moved since the day he got promoted to ‘lazy’

My dadfat is so big, it has its own ZIP code.

He looks like a balloon that got hit by a brick.

He eats cereal for dinner and calls it a ‘gourmet meal’.

2

the meaty mess that grows on a dad who thinks sitting is a sport and eating is a hobby

He has a chin so big, it could be a doorstop.

He eats a whole pizza and calls it a ‘light snack’.

He can’t walk to the fridge without wheezing.

3

the blob that forms on a dad when he forgets how to use his legs and just lives in a chair

He’s so fat, he can’t see the TV without a mirror.

He eats breakfast at 3 PM and calls it ‘lunch’.

He’s like a sausage roll that forgot how to roll.

4

the layer of grime and flab that covers a dad who thinks sweatpants are a fashion statement

He’s got a face like a muffin and a belly like a beach.

He eats a whole cake and says, ‘That was just a snack.’

He wears a shirt and calls it a ‘full suit’.

5

the pile of laziness and grease that grows on a dad who lives in the middle of a donut

He eats a donut at 2 AM and calls it a ‘nightcap’.

He can’t stand up without a ladder.

He’s so fat, he has a side job as a door.

6

the massive weight of a dad who thinks running is when you move from the couch to the fridge

He’s got a belly that could hold a whole pizza.

He eats breakfast at noon and calls it ‘late lunch’.

He walks like a turtle that just got hit by a truck.