daddy's secret sauce

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1
The gross stuff that daddy mixes up when he’s trying to impress his buddies and his burger. It’s like mayo and mustard got stuck in a toilet with a horse that just pooped.
My dad tried to use it on my lunch. I threw it in the trash and cried.
That sauce is why my burger looked like a science experiment.
My cousin said it tasted like regret and old socks.
2
The slimy, smelly juice that comes out of a hippo when it’s mad and has a bad hair day. It’s also what your uncle drinks before he yells at the TV.
My mom said it smells like my brother’s gym socks after a month in a trash can.
I saw the hippo throw it at a tourist. It was like a messy love letter.
My teacher used it to write on the board. It stank up the whole school.
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