daddybunkins

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4 views · Added 16d ago · 5 definitions

1
a dad who talks too much and thinks he's cool even when he's not
Dad: 'I was a rockstar in my day.' Me: 'You were a dadstar in your day.'
At the park, Dad yells, 'I used to bench press a cow!' No one believes him.
Dad tries to explain TikTok to me. It's like watching a dinosaur try to use a phone.
2
a man who thinks he's the king of the house but can't even remember his own passwords
Dad: 'I know all the answers.' Then he forgets his own phone password.
He tries to fix the Wi-Fi. It ends in tears and a reboot.
He claims he can hack the government. He can't even log into his email.
3
a dad who's always bragging but never actually does anything
Dad: 'I was in the army!' Me: 'You were in the dad army.'
He says he's a 'business man.' He runs a lemonade stand on weekends.
He claims he's a 'master chef.' His 'special' is burnt toast and ketchup.
4
a dad who thinks he's tough but can't handle a little kid's tantrum
He yells at the grocery store because the cereal is out of stock.
He tries to be scary but screams like a toddler.
He gets mad because I spilled juice on his pants. He cried.
5
a dad who talks like he's in a movie but no one cares
He says, 'I will conquer this mountain!' Then he trips over the couch.
He does a dramatic exit. It's just him walking out of the room.
He tries to be a hero. He can't even catch a falling cup.
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