Daddy snail

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2 views · Added 14d ago · 2 definitions

A dad who shows up just in time to blame you for everything and then disappears like he was never there

Dad: 'I was here! You failed!' (He showed up 10 minutes before the test.)

Dad: 'I was helping you! I was just busy!' (He was on his phone.)

Dad: 'I’m here for you!' (He left before the game started.)

A guy who takes his time with your partner like he’s doing a slow dance with a hot dog

He took 20 minutes to finish what should’ve been a 5-minute thing.

He was doing it like he was on a date with a burrito.

He was so slow, my partner looked like she was doing a yoga pose.