Daddy slamming

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When your daddy gives you a good ol' butt-whack to get you moving like he did to your mama.

My daddy slammed me so hard I got a new hairstyle.

He said, 'You're not gonna sit there all day, you little slug.'

I still feel the slap every time I poop.

When your daddy takes you for a ride, and it’s not a nice one, it’s more like a torture session.

Daddy slammed me so much I got a bruise on my brain.

He said, 'You’re not going to school if you don’t get your act together.'

I still have a dent in my forehead from that day.

When your daddy goes full beast mode and turns you into a human pancake.

Daddy slammed me so hard I was flat as a pizza.

He said, 'You’re not a baby anymore, you’re a pancake.'

I still have pancake vibes when I walk.

When your daddy takes you on a wild ride, and you’re not just a passenger, you’re a punchbag.

Daddy slammed me so much I felt like a piñata at a party.

He said, 'You’re gonna pop if you don’t behave.'

I had confetti in my hair for a week.

When your daddy gives you a slap so good, it’s like you’ve been kissed by the devil.

Daddy slammed me so hard I got a new face.

He said, 'That’s how you make a man out of a boy.'

I still have a smudge on my cheek from that slap.

When your daddy’s got a little extra fire and decides to turn you into a human burger.

Daddy slammed me so much I looked like I’d been grilled.

He said, 'You’re not a snack, you’re a burger.'

I still have a char on my shoulder from that day.