daddy shlongdon

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he’s the man with the biggest shlong and the biggest ego. Ella’s already planning his funeral because he’s gonna die from overconfidence.

Daddy Shlongdon just walked into the room and the whole orphanage got distracted.

He’s got a shlong so big, it’s got its own zipcode.

Ella’s been texting him non-stop since he got promoted to head daddy.

he’s got a shlong so big, it’s like having a second dad. And he’s got the patience of a saint, unless you’re late to lunch.

He’s been feeding the orphans for 50 years and still hasn’t gotten tired of it.

He once gave a kid a shlong for being late to breakfast.

He’s got more shlong than a whole orphanage full of kids.

he’s the man who’s got the shlong and the money. And he’s got the whole orphanage wrapped around his little finger.

He’s got more money than the whole orphanage combined.

He once gave a kid a shlong for not cleaning his plate.

He’s the reason why Ella’s got a job at the orphanage.