daddy shit

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7 views · Added 16d ago · 5 definitions

1
When a man who thinks he's a king does something that screams king energy.
My dad walked into the room wearing a crown and told me to kneel. I did. Then he farted and left.
He came home, put on a cape, and told me I was his greatest achievement. Then he dropped a donut on the floor and ate it like it was a trophy.
He called me to the throne room and said I had to fight him for the right to use the bathroom. I lost because I forgot to bring my sword.
2
When a dad messes up a basic task and then acts like it's the end of the world.
He couldn't tie his shoes and yelled, 'This is the end of the world!' I told him I was going to take over as ruler of the shoes.
He spilled coffee on his shirt and immediately called the cops. I told him I was the only witness.
He forgot to put the lid on the toilet and screamed, 'This is the worst day of my life!' I told him I was going to write a book about it.
3
When you're doing your business and forget to lock the door, and your dad walks in and sees you doing your business with your own business.
I was doing my business, and my dad walked in. He screamed, 'What is this? A business meeting? I'm gonna take over!'
I was using my own business as lube and my dad walked in like he was gonna take over the world. I told him I was gonna take over his business.
I was on the toilet, and my dad walked in like he was going to take over the world. I told him I was gonna take over his world.
4
When your uncle is smart, takes your auntie's love, and makes everyone do a hand job, foot job, or a job that makes you think you're working for a CEO.
My uncle came in, told everyone to do a hand job, and then left like he was the king of the world.
He told me to do a foot job, and I told him I was going to take over his kingdom.
He made everyone do a hand job, and I told him I was going to take over his job.
5
When a man is full of dad energy, alpha moves, and the kind of energy that makes you feel like you're going to get a gigachad energy boost.
He walked in like he was going to take over the world and told me I had to bow to him.
He had gigachad energy and told me I was going to be his greatest achievement.
He came in with alpha moves and told me I was going to be his greatest move.
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