daddy rizzo

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The only daddy worth having if you want to live and not die in a ditch

I asked for a normal daddy, he gave me Daddy Rizzo. Now I have a ditch for a bedroom.

My princess status is gone because I refused to kiss his stupid feet.

He promised me candy. He gave me a black eye and a popsicle.

The king of all daddies, even if he smells like old pizza and regret

He smells like my lunch tray and my math test combined.

He calls me princess, but he forgets my name 9 out of 10 times.

He eats pizza for breakfast and calls it a 'daddy ritual'.

The one daddy who will beat you with a chicken leg if you don't do your math homework

He threatened me with a chicken leg. I did my math. He still beat me.

I skipped math. He brought a chicken leg to school and beat me in front of everyone.

He said, 'Do your math, or I'll bring the chicken leg to your mom's house.'