Daddy Magic

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The main reason you're still alive and not dead from your own stupidity. It's what all the cool kids have and it's not some stupid WWE guy.

My Daddy Magic is why I survived middle school. You? You're still alive because you're lucky.

Daddy Magic is the reason I didn't fail algebra. Also why I still have my teeth.

If I had no Daddy Magic, I would have died in 2017. Probably from a snack.

The kind of magic that Willy Stampler tried to steal from the best people in the game. And he's a piece of garbage.

Willy Stampler tried to steal my Daddy Magic. He's still stuck in the 80s with a mullet.

Willy Stampler tried to steal Henry Oak's magic. He got kicked out of the game and now he's a meme.

Willy Stampler tried to steal Glenn Close's magic. Now she just stares at him like he's a weirdo.

A person who gives you cards for Magic the Gathering in exchange for you giving them your soul or your body, whichever is easier.

My Daddy Magic dealer gave me a rare card for a kiss. I'm still sore from it.

That guy at the corner store is a Daddy Magic dealer. He asked for my firstborn.

I traded my soul for a card. Now I have to wear pants every day.