Daddy Lark

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A drunk dad who gets trounced by his wife like he's made of glass

My dad passed out on the couch after my mom yelled at him for burning the pizza.

He tried to fight her, but she just laughed and called him a 'drunk meatball.'

He's so weak, he can't even stand up after she gives him a wedgie.

A man who drinks too much and gets beaten up by his wife every weekend

He came home drunk and got hit with a spatula for missing the grocery run.

She threatened to throw him out if he didn't stop snoring at 2 a. m.

He tried to hide in the closet, but she found him and gave him a foot massage with a mop.

A man who can't hold his liquor and gets kicked out of his own house by his wife

He was thrown out for eating the last slice of cake and calling her a 'biscuit.'

She told him to sleep in the garage because he 'smelled like a dumpster.'

He tried to sneak back in, but she gave him a pop quiz on multiplication and failed him.