Daddy David

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 3 definitions

1
The casino guy who talks your ear off and hits you with tips like they’re going out of style. He tips you, tips you off, and tips you out of the casino when you’re too wasted to remember your own name.
He tipped me a free drink and then asked for my number. I tipped him a free drink and then blocked him.
He tipped me on my head and said, 'You're gonna tip me off when you're done.'
He tipped me with a free cigar and a free Lyft. I tipped him with a free headache.
2
The coach who looks like a sweaty potato and still manages to make you want to do push-ups. He’s got that sexy bald head and a voice that can make you pass out during practice.
He said, 'You’re gonna be my sexy potato.' I said, 'I’m already half-dead.'
He yelled, 'You’re gonna run until you’re sweaty and sexy!' I ran until I was sweaty and dizzy.
He told me, 'You’re my favorite sweaty potato.' I told him, 'You’re my least favorite sweaty potato.'
3
Daddy David. That’s what you call him when he’s your dad, your teacher, your boss, and your therapist all in one. He’s got that dad vibe, that teacher vibe, and that vibe that says he knows your business.
He said, 'You’re my favorite student.' I said, 'You’re my least favorite dad.'
He told me, 'You’re my favorite student and my worst nightmare.'
He asked me, 'What’s your problem?' I said, 'You're my problem.'
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