daddy bizmo

Dad: 'I’ve been doing this for 30 years!' Son: 'You’ve been doing this for 30 years? You still don’t know how to use the microwave.'

At the grocery store, Dad tries to pick out the 'perfect' loaf of bread. It’s just a loaf of bread.

Dad yells at the TV during a football game. It’s not even his team.

Dad explains the whole history of the Roman Empire during dinner. No one asked.

Dad tries to fix the Wi-Fi. He unplugs the router. Then he plugs it back in. Then he yells at the internet.

Dad starts a debate about which pizza is better. It’s just a pizza.

Dad says he invented the wheel. Then he gets confused by the shopping cart.

Dad thinks he’s a detective. He solves the mystery of why the light is out. It was just a broken bulb.

Dad starts a new business. It’s just a lemonade stand. He calls it 'DadCorp.'

Dad buys a house just because the realtor said it was 'a good investment.' It’s falling apart.

Dad decides to start a garden. He plants 50 tomatoes in one spot. They all die.

Dad buys a new car. It has 37 features. He doesn’t know how to use any of them.

Dad tries to sound smart at a family reunion. He says, 'I’ve read 10 books!' No one asks what they were about.

Dad starts talking about quantum physics at a barbecue. No one knows what he’s talking about.

Dad says he’s a 'master of all trades.' He can’t even tie his shoes properly.