daddict

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3 views · Added 18d ago · 2 definitions

1
A dad who’s so high on his kid he can’t think straight and talks about them like they’re the only person who ever existed.
Dad: "My kid’s the best. My kid’s the only one who matters. My kid’s the reason I still breathe."
At the grocery store, Dad yells at the cashier for not knowing the kid’s favorite cereal.
Dad texts me at 2 a. m. to tell me about the kid’s latest tantrum, which is apparently the worst thing ever."
2
A dad who’s so addicted to his kid they’re like a drug and he’s the junkie, spitting out random stories about them all day.
Dad: "My kid’s in the top 10 of the top 10. I’ve seen kids with worse lives. My kid’s got it all."
Dad interrupts a football game to tell me about the kid’s spelling test, which he failed but still thinks is amazing.
Dad sends me a 10-minute voice note about the kid’s lunch, which is apparently a life-or-death situation."
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