dadanoia

'That man at the park is following my kid. He’s gonna take his college fund.'

'I saw a lady in the grocery store. She’s gonna kidnap my son and replace him with a vegetable.'

'The mailman is a spy. He’s gonna report me to the kid’s teacher.'

'The principal is in on it. She’s gonna fail my kid just to make me look bad.'

'That teacher’s got a vendetta. She’s gonna give my kid a D and a bruise.'

'The bus driver is a criminal. He’s gonna drop my kid off at a prison.'

'I saw my kid’s friend at the mall. He’s gonna trick my kid into eating a taco and become a taco.'

'The barista at Starbucks is a ninja. She’s gonna take my kid’s lunch and hide it in a cup.'

'That kid on the bus is my kid’s twin. He’s gonna take over my kid’s life.'