dad wings

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The saggy flaps hanging off your dad’s gut like two sad hot dogs at a sad hot dog stand

My dad’s dad wings are so big, they could wrap a taco for lunch.

I swear his dad wings are trying to take over his body.

He tried to do a push-up, but his dad wings got in the way.

The sad, saggy meat hanging off your dad like two old socks that never got washed

His dad wings are so bad, they got their own Instagram.

I saw his dad wings walking by themselves.

He tried to dance, but his dad wings were too tired.

The soft, flabby things hanging off your dad’s gut like two tired turkeys at Thanksgiving

His dad wings are so flabby, they could nap for a week.

I asked him if he was a turkey, and he said, 'No, I’m just tired.'

He tried to run, but his dad wings slowed him down.