dad skill

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A magic trick only daddies can pull off, even when they're too drunk to stand straight.

Dad: I can eat an entire pizza by myself. (He eats 3 slices, then passes out.)

Dad tries to fix the Wi-Fi by unplugging the router. It now works, but only sometimes.

Dad claims he can balance on one leg for 10 minutes. He lasts 20 seconds, then falls into the couch.

A power only daddies have, like being able to shout at the TV and make it turn off.

Dad yells at the TV during a commercial. It turns off. He says, 'That was a good ad.'

Dad can find his keys in the couch cushion after 5 years of searching.

Dad can drink 5 beers and still drive, but only if he’s going to a bar.

A special ability only daddies have, like knowing where the remote is, even when it’s buried under 10 blankets.

Dad finds the remote under a pile of clothes, then forgets where he put it.

Dad can drink coffee at 3 a. m. and still act like it’s normal.

Dad claims he can sing opera. He sings 'Let It Go' at the top of his lungs, then passes out.

A superpower only daddies have, like being able to argue with the internet and win.

Dad argues with the internet for 2 hours. He wins, then forgets why he was arguing.

Dad can eat a whole cake in one sitting, then blame the kids for it.

Dad claims he can fix the car. He puts it in reverse and drives into a tree.

A skill only daddies have, like being able to shout at the sky and make it rain.

Dad shouts at the sky during a drought. It rains. He says, 'I knew it would work.'

Dad can eat 5 hot dogs in 10 minutes and still say he's not full.

Dad tries to fix the lights by jumping on the breaker box. He breaks it, but the lights come on.

A talent only daddies have, like being able to say ‘I’m fine’ even when you’re clearly not.

Dad says, ‘I’m fine,’ after falling off the couch. He then goes to bed.

Dad claims he can fix the toilet. He pours a bottle of soda down the drain. It works, but only temporarily.

Dad says he can dance. He does a moonwalk, then trips over the cat.