Dad Sauce

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the goo that comes out of a dad when he's trying to make a baby, but it's just full of bad decisions and old snacks.

My dad's sauce was so bad, it turned my mom into a breakfast cereal commercial.

He tried to make a baby with my aunt, and it just came out as a side dish.

Dad sauce is the reason I have a cousin who smells like a gym sock.

the liquid proof that a dad was once a teenager, but now he just smells like regret and old pizza.

My dad's sauce was so strong, it made my dog vomit a disco ball.

He tried to use it to glue my sister to the wall. It didn't work, but now she's stuck in the 80s.

That stuff is why I have a brother who cries at the sound of a blender.

the stuff that makes babies, but also makes your dad's pants look like they were dipped in a trash can.

My dad's sauce was so messy, it left a map of his life on my mom's shirt.

He tried to use it to paint the house, and now the walls look like a war zone.

That goo is why I have a cousin who can't stop sneezing at the sound of a fart.