Dad Rizz

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3 views · Added 15d ago · 2 definitions

When you're so ugly you look like a burnt taco and you drink water like it's your ex who ditched you for a guy with better rizz and a full wallet.

My face is like a sidewalk after a hurricane. Water is my only friend now.

I tried to text my dad, but he said he was too busy eating tacos and laughing at my life choices.

I look like a raccoon that got hit by a truck and forgot how to be cute.

When a dad is so smooth he could talk a goat into wearing a top hat and still have enough stories to keep a kid entertained for a whole week.

My dad told me a story about his old job, and I almost believed him. Almost.

He talked to the mailman like they were best friends. I just stared in awe.

He said he once fought a chicken. I believe him.