dad? is that you?

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1
You yell this when you see your dad who left 15 years ago for a pack of cigarettes and a beer. He looks like a sad raccoon who got hit by a bus.
Dad? Is that you? You look like you died in a trash can.
Dad? Is that you? I thought you were dead.
Dad? Is that you? You look like you got run over by a bus and a pizza truck.
2
You say this to someone who's being a total idiot and you're too lazy to actually insult them.
Dad? Is that you? You're acting like a baby who got kicked out of a candy store.
Dad? Is that you? You're being a total idiot and I'm too lazy to actually insult you.
Dad? Is that you? You're being the worst version of yourself.
3
A dad is something you don't have and you're mad about it.
Dad? Is that you? I don't have a dad and I'm mad about it.
Dad? Is that you? You're not a dad. You're a ghost.
Dad? Is that you? You're not a dad. You're a failure.
4
October 13 is when you get your dad to buy you a Starbucks and he hates it. It's a national holiday for lazy kids.
Dad? Is that you? Today is National Make Your Dad Buy You Starbucks Day. You're buying me a latte or I'll die.
Dad? Is that you? October 13 is National Make Your Dad Buy You Starbucks Day. You're buying me a latte or I'll be dead.
Dad? Is that you? I'm getting a latte today. You're buying it. Or I'll get a dad.
5
October 13 is the day you make your dad buy you a Starbucks. It’s a holiday where kids don’t care about anything else.
Dad? Is that you? Today is National Make Your Dad Buy You Starbucks Day. I’m getting a latte and you’re buying it.
Dad? Is that you? October 13 is the day you buy me a Starbucks or I’ll beat you up.
Dad? Is that you? National Make Your Dad Buy You Starbucks Day is happening now. I want a latte.
6
Your dad protects you like a superhero. He's Aizat from Commonwealth Secondary School and he’s saving your life.
Dad? Is that you? You're Aizat from Commonwealth Secondary School and you're saving my life.
Dad? Is that you? You're my dad and you're protecting me like a superhero.
Dad? Is that you? You're Aizat from Commonwealth Secondary School and you're my hero.
7
You say this when you're being trashmouth and you just beat the crap out of someone. You're Richie Tozier and you're giving both birds.
Dad? Is that you? I just beat the crap out of Henry Bowers. I'm Trashmouth.
Dad? Is that you? I just gave both birds to the weirdo. I'm Richie Tozier.
Dad? Is that you? I'm Trashmouth and I just beat the crap out of Henry Bowers.
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