Dad is helping me hang a shelf

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2 views · Added 15d ago · 6 definitions

1
Your dad is pretending to help you hang a shelf while actually licking your butt and calling you his favorite son.
My dad said he was fixing the shelf, but I know he was just trying to get a taste of my behind.
He said he was holding the ladder, but I swear he was sniffing my crotch the whole time.
Dad told me he was done, but I saw him eating my butt like it was a snack.
2
Your dad is doing your homework while pretending to hang a shelf so he can get extra bacon for breakfast.
He said he was helping me hang the shelf, but I know he was just cheating on his math test.
Dad was pretending to hold the shelf up, but he was actually copying my science project.
He said he was done, but I found his test paper stuck to the wall.
3
Your dad is trying to get your mom to come out of the bathroom by pretending to hang a shelf.
He said he was helping me hang the shelf, but he was really yelling at my mom to come out of the bathroom.
Dad was pretending to nail the shelf, but he was actually shouting, 'You’re not hiding from me anymore!'
He told me he was done, but I heard him whisper, 'Come out, I know you’re in there.'
4
Your dad is pretending to hang a shelf so he can steal your snacks and eat them in peace.
He said he was helping me hang the shelf, but he was just stealing my chips.
Dad was pretending to hold the shelf up, but he was actually eating my candy bar.
He told me he was done, but I found his face covered in my snack.
5
Your dad is pretending to hang a shelf while actually spying on your mom and making faces at her.
He said he was helping me hang the shelf, but he was really making faces at my mom through the wall.
Dad was pretending to nail the shelf, but he was actually giving my mom the finger.
He told me he was done, but I saw him winking at my mom like he was in love.
6
Your dad is doing the shelf thing just so he can use your phone and not get in trouble for texting your mom.
He said he was helping me hang the shelf, but he was really texting my mom.
Dad was pretending to hold the shelf, but he was actually typing messages on my phone.
He told me he was done, but I saw him delete the messages he sent my mom.
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