dad house

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The kind of music your dad plays so loud it feels like he’s trying to beat you with a bassline.

Dad: 'This is the best song ever!' Me: 'I can feel my brain melting.'

Bro: 'Why are you listening to this?' Me: 'Because my dad's soul is stuck in a 2000s dance club.'

Mom: 'Turn it down!' Dad: 'No, this is how I survive my life.'

That time of the month when your dad’s house is like a jail and you’re the prisoner.

Dad: 'You can’t go out today.' Me: 'Why?' Dad: 'Because I say so.'

Bro: 'Can I come over?' Me: 'No, because I’m being held hostage by my dad's house.'

Me: 'I’ve been trapped here for three days.' Dad: 'That’s what you get for being a bad kid.'

When your dad’s house is like a weird rule that nobody asked for but everyone has to follow.

Dad: 'You’re coming to my house today.' Me: 'Why?' Dad: 'Because it’s my rule.'

Bro: 'Why can’t I come over?' Me: 'Because your dad’s house is a weird rule only he understands.'

Me: 'I don’t know why I’m here.' Dad: 'That’s just how it works.'