Dad Forearms

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The huge, squishy arms Dads have from years of wrestling with jars, choking on beer, and fighting off the kids.

I tried to open a jar of pickles and my arm looked like a sausage fest.

My dad’s forearms are so big they could hold a whole pizza by themselves.

He flexed and it looked like he was trying to break a brick.

The meaty arms Dads get from doing manly stuff like fixing the TV, yelling at the mailman, and eating entire pizzas.

He fixed the TV and his arms got bigger than the screen.

He yelled at the mailman so hard his arms bulged like balloons.

He ate a whole pizza and his arms looked like they had a life of their own.

The big, angry arms Dads have from fighting with the kids, lifting heavy stuff, and getting mad at the internet.

He fought with his kid and his arms looked like they were ready to punch a wall.

He lifted a couch and his arms got so big they could bench-press a cow.

He got mad at the internet and his arms flared up like a volcano.

The huge, flabby arms Dads get from sitting in a recliner, eating chips, and yelling at the TV.

He sat in a recliner for a year and his arms got flabbier than a donut.

He ate chips like they were going out of style and his arms turned into sausages.

He yelled at the TV so much his arms shook like a spaz.

The strong, smelly arms Dads have from working outside, drinking cheap beer, and never washing their hands.

He worked outside all day and his arms smelled like a trash can.

He drank beer like it was water and his arms got strong enough to bench-press a cow.

He never washed his hands and his arms looked like they were covered in dirt and regret.

The tough, bony arms Dads get from lifting things, yelling at the kids, and living like a caveman.

He lifted a couch and his arms got bony like a skeleton.

He yelled at the kids so hard his arms looked like they were made of bones.

He lived like a caveman and his arms looked like they had been through a war.