dad back

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#posture#dad stuff#broken man

6 views · Added 16d ago · 5 definitions

1
When you slouch like a broken old man because your dad is too lazy to stand up straight and he’s also too busy doing dad stuff that makes your spine scream in agony.
My dad’s back looks like a pretzel after he watches 8 hours of sports.
He hunched over like he was trying to dig a hole to China.
His back is so curved it could be used as a bridge for ants.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
2
When your dad says he’s getting milk, but he’s actually going to the store to buy milk and then decides to live there forever.
He said he’d be back in 5 minutes. That was 5 years ago.
He went to the store to buy milk and never came back. Ever.
He’s still at the store. He’s probably married to the milk.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
3
When your dad runs off with another woman and leaves you with nothing but sadness and a cereal box that’s been open for 10 years.
He left me with my mom and a half-eaten bowl of cereal.
He ditched us for a woman who probably just likes cereal.
He broke up with us for a milk carton and a woman who looks like a cereal box.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
4
How long it takes your dad to get milk. It’s like he’s doing a marathon, a math test, and a wrestling match all at once.
He took 4 years to get milk. It was a journey.
He got lost on the way to the store. He got lost on the way back.
He bought milk and then forgot where he was.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
5
When your dad leaves you for good and you’re left with only water, sadness, and the memory of cereal that never got milk.
I eat cereal with water now. It’s a sad life.
He left me with a bowl of cereal and a broken heart.
My cereal is just water now. My dad is just a ghost.
by Slangipedia 4d ago
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