Dabestiest

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A person who is literally perfect and knows exactly what to say before you even think about it. They’re like a human GPS for your life.

You’re stuck in traffic and they text you: 'You’re gonna need coffee.'

You forget your birthday and they show up with cake and a middle finger.

You’re crying in the gym and they say, 'You’re gonna make it, loser.'

The kind of person who thinks they’re god and also happens to be right about everything.

You’re arguing about pizza toppings and they say, 'You’re wrong, and I’m right, and also I’ve had pizza for breakfast.'

You’re in a fight with your mom and they text you: 'She’s wrong, and you’re right, and also I’ve seen her eat cereal for dinner.'

You’re failing math and they text you: 'You’re gonna pass, and also I’ve passed calculus.'

Someone who is so good at everything that it’s almost like they’re cheating at life.

You’re late to class and they’re already there with a snack and a plan.

You’re crying over a broken phone and they text you: 'You’re gonna be fine, and also I’ve got a new one.'

You’re stuck in a DM battle and they say, 'You’re gonna win, and also I’ve got 10 more messages ready.'

A human version of a superpower. They know what you need before you ask, and they’re never wrong.

You’re about to fail a test and they text you: 'You’re gonna pass, and also I’ve got the answers.'

You’re eating lunch alone and they show up with a sandwich and a laugh.

You’re crying at work and they say, 'You’re gonna be fine, and also I’ve got cookies.'

A person who is so good that they make your life look like a horror movie.

You’re struggling with homework and they say, 'You’re gonna pass, and also I’ve done this before.'

You’re stuck in a fight with your friend and they text you: 'You’re gonna win, and also I’ve got a plan.'

You’re eating a sad sandwich and they show up with a burger and a laugh.