Dabbogeled

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5 views · Added 15d ago · 6 definitions

1
Brain size of a mouse and knowledge of a confused toddler
My cousin thinks the moon is made of cheese and that gravity is just a conspiracy.
He asked me if the internet was a real place and I had to explain it with a drawing.
He tried to tell me he was a genius because he could count to 10.
2
They have the intelligence of a sack of rocks and the memory of a goldfish on a sugar rush
She forgot what she was doing 30 seconds after starting it.
He claimed he had a PhD in something, but it turned out he just looked it up on a phone.
She asked me what a computer was, and I had to show her my face.
3
They think they’re smart, but they’re just lucky
He passed the test by randomly guessing and then claimed he knew it all along.
She said she knew how to fix the printer, but it turned out she just pressed a button and hoped for the best.
He tried to explain how the universe works, and it was just a guess.
4
They’re like a broken toaster, just a bunch of smoke and a little bit of burnt bread
He tried to explain the plot of a movie and just made it worse.
She asked me what the sky was, and I said, ‘It’s above us.’ She didn’t get it.
He thought he could play the guitar, but it just sounded like a cat being tortured.
5
They’re the kind of people who think they’re the main character in a movie when it’s clearly just a background extra
He thought he was famous because he once said hello to a bus driver.
She believed she was a superhero because she could walk 10 steps without falling.
He claimed he was a rockstar because he knew the words to a song that was only 3 seconds long.
6
They’re like a bag of chips, empty inside and full of air
He said he knew everything about space, but he thought Earth was the only planet.
She asked me if I knew what a car was and I had to explain it with a diagram.
He said he could beat a computer at chess, but he didn’t know how the pieces moved.
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