Dabafalactus

He said I was the best friend a man could have, even though I told him he smelled like a wet sock.

She called me a god among men, just so I'd let her borrow my car.

He praised my sandwich like it was the last meal before the apocalypse.

He said my voice was smooth, then asked if I'd ever tried singing in the shower.

She told me I was handsome, then asked if I had a date for prom.

He called me a legend, then asked if I wanted to play video games.

He said I was the best at math, then asked if I wanted to eat lunch with him.

She told me I was cute, then asked if I had a crush on her.

He called me a hero, then asked if I wanted to play a game.

He said I was the best at soccer, even though I tripped over my own feet.

She told me I was the smartest kid in school, even though I failed math.

He called me a legend, even though I lost the game.

He said I was the best at chess, even though I lost every game.

She told me I was the strongest kid in class, even though I got bullied every day.

He called me a beast, even though he beat me in a race.