da hoop

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a dog named pepper who runs the house like it's a prison and you're the warden

Pepper barked at me for 10 minutes because I forgot to feed him. I'm not even hungry.

I tried to leave the house. Pepper followed me to the gas station. I came back.

Pepper stares at me like I owe him money. I do. I owe him my soul.

a dog named pepper who rules the house with a leash and a side of disrespect

Pepper doesn't just walk. He parades. And I have to follow him like a pet.

I tried to watch TV. Pepper sat on the couch. I sat on the floor.

He peed on my shoes. I peed on his food. It was a war.

a dog named pepper who's so powerful he makes the mailman cry

The mailman ran away when Pepper barked. I didn't even flinch.

Pepper chased the mailman down the street. The mailman left my letter on the sidewalk.

I told the mailman to stop running. He said Pepper was coming for him next.