da future

The future is like my mom’s cooking, everyone’s gonna hate it, but no one’s leaving.

I’m gonna be rich in the future, and you’re gonna be crying in the corner.

The future is just me getting my revenge on all of you.

The future is like getting a root canal on a Saturday.

You thought you’d be famous? The future is you eating cereal for dinner.

The future is when your dreams come true and they all taste like regret.

The future is like my uncle’s jokes, long, loud, and full of shame.

You thought you’d be cool in the future? The future is you wearing a fanny pack at 40.

The future is when your friends stop pretending they like you.