baboonkie

Yo, that baboonkie is older than my grandma's bad decisions

He’s so old, he probably remembers when the internet was just a rumor

That baboonkie is like a expired coupon at a discount store

That baboonkie just told me he used to be cool

He’s like a bad pizza that won’t stop talking

I walked in on him crying about a lost bet from 1997

That baboonkie still uses a flip phone and thinks the moon landing was fake

He called my phone a 'smart brick' and left

He said he’s from the 80s and I said, 'So am I, but I still remember how to text'