Baboon Ass

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Your ass turns bright red and puffy like a baboon’s after sitting in the sun all day and wiping your butt like a madman.

My ass looks like a tomato after mowing the lawn in a heatwave.

I wiped so hard I think my butt is gonna explode.

My neighbor’s ass is so red I thought he was on fire.

When a guy stands up too fast and his balls get squished under his ass like a trapped sausage.

He stood up so quick his balls were stuck in his ass like a sandwich.

My boss stood up and his balls looked like they were about to burst.

My dad’s balls were stuck under his ass like he had a meatloaf in there.

Your butt hole gets all sore and raw from eating too much meat or wiping your butt like it’s a crime scene.

I ate three steaks and my butt hole is screaming at me.

My butt hole is raw from wiping like I’m cleaning up after a bar fight.

After eating a whole pizza, my butt hole looked like it had been through war.

A guy who is so obsessed with his boss that he would take a bullet for them and still call them ‘boss’ in the middle of a fire fight.

He would take a bullet for his boss and still call them ‘boss’.

He would do overtime for his boss even if it meant dying.

He would give up his life for his boss just to get a raise.

When your ass sweats and your butt hair rubs your butt like it’s a torture chamber.

My ass is sweating so much it’s like a sauna.

My butt hair is rubbing my butt like it’s a torture session.

I walked three miles and my butt feels like it’s on fire.

When your butt gets so spicy from eating too many jalapeños, it feels like a thousand chili peppers are living inside your ass.

After eating ten jalapeños, my butt felt like it had a fire in there.

My butt is burning like I sat on a hot pepper.

My butt is so spicy it looks like it’s going to burst into flames.

When a guy grabs his balls and pulls them out like he’s showing off to a hot girl.

He pulled his balls out like he was showing off to a hot girl.

My brother showed off his balls to the barista and got free coffee.

He pulled his balls out like he was advertising a new meat product.