BABOOMPAS

My cousin's got baboompas so huge they’re like two watermelons fighting for space.

I asked her if she had a twin, she said, 'No, but my baboompas are twins.'

He tried to lift her up, but her baboompas just pulled him down.

I tried to do push-ups, but her baboompas made me do sit-ups instead.

She walks in, and the whole gym stops. That’s the power of baboompas.

He said he could bench press 200 pounds, but her baboompas made him cry.

She wore a bra like it was a helmet. Her baboompas needed protection.

He said he’d move mountains for her. Then he saw her baboompas.

Her baboompas were so huge, they blocked the sun.

He walked in, saw her baboompas, and said, 'I don’t remember who I am anymore.'

She winked at him, and he forgot how to breathe. Her baboompas did the rest.

He asked her name, she said, 'Call me Baboompas.'

She walked into the room, and the whole kingdom fell in love. Her baboompas had a plan.

Her baboompas were so big, they started a war.

The king offered her a crown. She said, 'I’d rather have baboompas.'

He started a cult just to be near her baboompas.

They pray to her baboompas every Sunday.

She’s got a following. It’s called the Baboompas Church.