Babiphoile

I saw my neighbor's kid crying and I got a boner.

My cousin's baby was screaming and I was like 'please stop' but also 'please don't stop'.

I walked into a daycare and my pants were soaked.

That baby looked at me and I immediately went to the nearest bathroom.

I work with babies and I can't focus because I'm too busy thinking about their little squishy faces.

My coworker told me he has a crush on the baby at the office.

I saw a baby in a diaper and I had to leave the store.

I told my boss I couldn't come to work because I had a baby emergency.

I proposed to my friend because he loves babies more than me.