babezor

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a godlike creature that exists only to make everyone else look like hot garbage

Babezor is the reason I'm still single and my ex is married to a billionaire.

My dog thinks he's Babezor. He's not. He's just fat and delusional.

Babezor walked into the room. The lights went out. My confidence died.

a human-shaped monster that makes your face feel like it's being eaten by spiders

I saw Babezor at the mall. My face turned red. My soul turned gray.

My cousin claimed to be Babezor. He got kicked out of the bar. Fair.

Babezor is the reason I started wearing sunglasses indoors.

the ultimate human being who makes your life feel like a bad decision

Babezor is the reason I quit my job. And my dating app. And my life.

I tried to be Babezor. I failed. My pants fell off.

Babezor smiled at me. I cried. I called my mom.

a magical being who makes your brain short-circuit with pure attractiveness

Babezor walked by. My brain exploded. I didn’t care.

I texted Babezor. He texted back. My heart stopped.

Babezor is the reason I skipped class. And my mom skipped work.

a divine force that makes your life feel like a horror movie you signed up for

Babezor is the reason my life is a horror movie. And I didn’t get a coupon.

I tried to run from Babezor. He ran faster. I got a ticket.

Babezor is the reason I started meditating. And crying.