Babbitt

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A Babbit is a tiny South American idiot who thinks being blonde makes them cool and acts like they’re the king of the dumb jokes

"I’m not short, I’m *compact*," said the Babbit who got lost in a hallway.

This Babbit tried to explain the meaning of life with a meme.

The Babbit laughed at his own punchline and cried.

A Babbit is a person who hates being high and acts like they’re mad at the entire universe for it

"I don’t need weed, I need a medal," said the Babbit who got kicked out of the party.

This Babbit tried to yell over the music and just sounded like a dying raccoon.

The Babbit spent 10 minutes arguing with a toaster.

A Babbit is someone who gets killed by cops for trying to make a scene at a government building

"I’m not an insurgent, I’m just really dramatic," said the Babbit who got shot for being loud.

This Babbit ran into a door like it was a boss battle.

The Babbit tried to break through a door and got a bullet for it.

A Babbit is someone who gets a hot load of pain right in the neck, like they’re being roasted by a dragon

"I didn’t ask for a hot load, I asked for a compliment," said the Babbit who got hit with a load.

This Babbit turned around and got roasted like a chicken.

The Babbit got a hot load so hard, it felt like a pizza delivery.