Babashuno

She texted me: 'I love you but I'm also gonna punch you in the face.'

She cried when her dog died but laughed when I told her I was gonna eat her cat.

She sent me a photo of her crying in the bathroom and said, 'You’re the best, but I’m still mad.'

She said, 'I love you,' then took the last chip from my bag.

She brought me flowers and then ate my whole sandwich.

She texted me: 'I’m here for you, but I’m also eating your fries.'

She knows I cheated on my math test and still said, 'I love you.'

She saw me eating pizza for breakfast and didn’t say a word.

She knew I stole her phone and still sent me a love text.

She called me 'Your Majesty,' then said, 'You’re a donkey.'

She told me I was a king, then threw a shoe at me.

She praised me in front of my friends and then said, 'You’re a donkey.'

She said she’d die for me, then asked for pepperoni pizza.

She promised to save my life and then ordered a large pizza.

She told me she’d die for me and then said, 'But I want pizza.'

She was my best friend, then my lover, then my worst enemy.

She supported me, then kissed me, then said I was a donkey.

She was my best friend, my girlfriend, and then she stole my phone.