Babanitas

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When someone is so messed up from a hangover they can't tell if they're at a funeral or a party.

I thought I was going to work. Turns out I was at my mom's house. Again.

I tried to text my boss. I sent a picture of my cat wearing my hat. He fired me.

I sat on the floor. I don't remember getting up. I don't remember getting down.

When you're so drunk you can't even pretend you're sober anymore.

I tried to drink coffee. It tasted like vodka. I cried.

I called my mom. I told her I was going to be a wizard. She hung up.

I tried to walk. I tripped over my own foot. I don't know why I had feet.

When you're so out of it you think your friend is a ghost.

I saw my friend. I screamed. I thought he was a ghost. He was just wearing my shirt.

I tried to eat. I grabbed my phone. I tried to text it. It didn't respond.

I tried to remember my name. I couldn't. I asked my dog. He just barked.

When you're so hungover you think you're in a horror movie.

I looked in the mirror. I thought I was in a horror movie. I screamed. I didn't know I was me.

I tried to brush my teeth. I threw up. I thought it was a monster.

I heard my mom. I thought it was a scream. It was just her singing in the shower.

When you're so drunk you think your pet is your ex.

I saw my dog. I cried. I thought it was my ex. It just wagged its tail.

I tried to feed my cat. I yelled at it. I told it I hated it. It stared at me.

I texted my ex. I sent a picture of my dog. He replied with a picture of his dog. I cried.

When you're so hungover you think your alarm clock is trying to kill you.

I heard the alarm. I screamed. I thought it was trying to kill me. It was just beeping.

I tried to turn it off. I hit it. I thought it was a monster. It just beeped louder.

I tried to sleep. I couldn't. I thought the clock was laughing at me.