a wiz khalifa

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You fake a kidney failure to leave class, then smoke a blunt in the bathroom and return like a dragon who just ate a goat.

I told the teacher I had a kidney infection. I came back smelling like a burnt cigar and a dead mouse.

He said he had to pee so bad he thought he was gonna die. He came back high and giggling like a maniac.

She said she had a bladder emergency. She came back with a face like she just fought a bear.

When you’re too lazy to walk to the bathroom, you just go right there in the hallway like a confused raccoon.

I peed in the hallway like it was my own personal throne.

He took a leak in the middle of the hallway like it was a sacred ritual.

She just let it go like it was a secret mission.

When you feel like a dragon with a bladder that’s about to explode.

I felt like my bladder was about to burst like a balloon with a punch to the gut.

He said he had to pee so bad he thought he was gonna die in the middle of math class.

She looked like she was about to scream and cry at the same time.

You think you’re gonna pass gas, but you end up crapping your pants like a confused dog.

He thought he was gonna fart, but he crapped his pants like a toddler.

She tried to fart, but she ended up peeing and crapping at the same time.

He looked like he had a surprise party in his pants.

A girl lets out a tiny fart while peeing, and it’s so loud it wakes up the whole school.

She let out a fart while peeing and it sounded like a jet engine.

He heard the fart and it was like a dog barking at a fire truck.

The whole class heard it and started laughing like they were in a comedy show.

You pee on a wall at a party while smoking a joint, like you’re a mad king.

He peed on the wall while smoking a joint like he was king of the party.

She took a leak on the wall like she was doing a secret ritual.

He looked like a madman who just peed on a wall during a rave.

You pee out a window from the top of the Burj Khalifa, like you’re a superhero with a bladder.

He peed out a window from the top of the Burj Khalifa like he was a superhero.

She peed out a window like she was trying to make a splash.

He looked like he was doing a magic trick from the top of the tallest building.