A wimbledon

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3 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
When you take a leak and splash yourself like a fool, especially if you're too lazy to check your pants before you shake it off.
Dad went for a piss and got his trousers soaked. Classic.
I peed like a fire hydrant and got my pants wet. What a disaster.
My trousers are soaked because I couldn't be bothered to look before I shook.
2
A fancy tennis match that Tim Henman will never win and will forever be stuck in the middle of, like a stuck pig.
Tim Henman is stuck in Wimbledon like a stuck pig.
Wimbledon is the reason Tim Henman is stuck in the middle of nowhere.
Wimbledon is like being stuck in the middle of a tennis match with no escape.
3
A place that has a huge tennis match on grass, but it's just a fancy version of a pub quiz with more sweat and less beer.
Wimbledon is like a pub quiz but with more sweat and grass.
They play tennis on grass, but it's like a pub quiz with more drama.
Wimbledon is just a fancy pub quiz with more grass and more sweat.
4
A tennis match that happens in England on a road that sounds like it was named by a very old man with a stick.
Wimbledon is in England and on a road that sounds like it was named by an old man.
They play tennis on Church Road, which sounds like it was named by a very old man.
Church Road is the worst name for a road and that's where Wimbledon is.
5
Wimbledon is a place. That’s it. Nothing else. It’s like saying ‘the moon’ and expecting it to be a whole new universe.
Wimbledon is a place. That’s it. Like the moon, but not as cool.
They say Wimbledon is a place. What a waste of words.
Wimbledon is just a place. Don’t overthink it.
6
Having breakfast at Wimbledon is like having morning sex with the person who gave you a hangover. It’s messy and loud.
Breakfast at Wimbledon is like having morning sex with your hangover.
Waking up with breakfast at Wimbledon is like having sex in the morning with a hangover.
Having breakfast at Wimbledon is like having morning sex with the person who ruined your night.
7
A drinking game invented by Oliver Reed. You down a pint in 15 minutes and then sprint to the pub like a drunk man on fire.
Oliver Reed invented this drinking game and it's as wild as he was.
You drink a pint, run to the pub, and repeat like a drunk man on fire.
Oliver Reed drank pints and ran to pubs like a mad man.
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